I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.
I’ve decided that I want him to be played by Jeff Goldblum.
i feel bad for teachers because i distinctly remember my mom bursting into tears once when she was grading papers and she was just mumbling “theyre so goddamn stupid” over and over
every time i read this i laugh a little harder
there are too many vines of cishet boys in wigs making fun of girls. we need more vines making fun of cishet boys. girls wearing snapbacks and basketball shorts like ”bro hold my AXE i’m gonna draw a penis on this board” ”yeah draw a penis haha *frightened look at camera* i’m not gay tho”
someone please make that vine